Conqueror

A lot of people know I am working out a lot for my body to be strong but no one knows whilst there's a battle inside that challenges my faith to also remain strong and keep going. I feel like the only thing I am getting in life is pain after pain and betrayal after betrayal.  I am full of bitterness. I cannot really understand the things that are happening to me. I don't know where I am going. I don't know what to do with my career. I don't have any idea what my future will be. And as I struggle, I also begin to isolate myself bec no one will understand and I also don't want other people to invalidate what I am going through and/or hurt me again.

I've watched Toni Gonzaga's interview with Joy Mendoza and it reminded me that I have to make the obvious but hard choice so I can move forward- to forgive. It really is so hard to forgive people especially when they keep on doing the same things to me. But it is harder to forgive myself for losing myself,dwelling on the pain, for burying myself to sadness, for letting anger and bitterness prey upon me and for not completely relying on God's plan. When the bible said "...in all things God works for the good of those who love Him", it really means all, including the things that are not acceptable to us and not just the good ones. I cannot do it alone and it's going to be a long process so help me pray for the Spirit to intercede so that I may completely heal and forgive and that I may have hope on things that I do not yet have.

"If God is for us, who can be against us?"

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

While I can see physical progress, I hope that what's inward will also soon progress.