Unpleasant Things About Break-ups

It is very common to feel bad after a break-up. Everyone will agree for sure. But why is it really hard and sad? Maybe because you've put so much time and effort. Maybe because you have very different views on commitment? For you, commitment is something to be taken seriously and wholeheartedly and so, you did. You probably gave your hundred percent and sometimes even more. You really want things to work out and you want your partner to have an idea of the amount of happiness you're feeling. Even though it scares you and you made solitude your haven, you've fallen to the life is sweeter when shared trap. So after years of waiting, you finally welcomed  someone to share moments with.

Or maybe because you can't believe you entrusted your heart to someone who never really had a thought of taking care of it. You let the feelings grow for someone who didn't appreciate how much courage it caused you to let it. How much convincing you had that this one is different. But he wasn't. He left and you don't even  have  the slightest idea about what truly happened. That someone really had the guts to give you those sweet lies and play with your heart even when what you only did was be nice.

I guess the painful thing was believing he would be there and won't hurt you yet he has put you to the saddest moment yet of your life where you can only cry and wish for the pain to stop. And the worst part was finding yourself still crying in the middle of the night after months, thinking why'd you deserve such pain when all you did was fall in love to someone who has first showed interest in you and pursued you anyway.

(After finishing this entry, realised it wasn't the best post to read on a new year. Still greeting you anyway... Happy New Year!)

They Say Honesty Is The Best Policy...

If you would look through my older posts, you'll say I've moved on. But surprising as it may seem, uninvited emotions kept on recurring over the past days. I have been pretty down with disappointments and anger. A lot could be the cause and I didn't want to point out one. Some says, vent it out or let it out. And some, I think, wouldn't love the idea of me dwelling on the past.

I've had a conversation with my best friend regarding the matter recently, not only did I feel
relieved, I also learned to identify thoroughly from where are these really coming. As I head home, our lifegroup leader sent us a message which talks about pain dealings and forgiving. Right that very moment, things became clearer. I failed to forgive not just 'him' but myself as well. I've inscribed the repulsive things he has said and done to me for I thought it would free me from him... It would help me lose the feelings I have for him. Hence, it imprisoned me. It is not through dark that you would be freed. Where in fact, it enslaves you. It is always through light where you will learn to forgive and will let you be thankful it happened. It will help you look at the brighter side. Adeptly, God is working for our own good. If it is unnecessary, He won't let it happen.

Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That's its balance.~Osho

My mom said, "There is no such thing as 'move on'. It doesn't happen." And for the record, again, she's right. You don't move on. You just move forward. You live with it as you learn from it. You.become.a.better.you.
This setback is a blessing in disguised. I was reminded of God's wonderful blessings and that I am capable of loving. LIKEWISE, IN GOD'S PERFECT TIME. :-)

For once, I am going to say this,
"I had you at your worst, she had you at your best."
Ain't saying this with regrets,
This is just a regress. 
Hey, I still wish you the best.

Note To The ‘Has Been’

Making a note for you is something that is not new to me. Thus, with this one, contents do. From the moment  we parted our ways, I have seen a lot of changes. I can see now that you are happy(Nonetheless, by God's grace, I am happy, too.). Right there, I knew I made the right decision. I knew this is what you/I/we need. Well, it has been my reason since that day, to see you in a right disposition. I want you to find yourself and look for your new inspiration/motivation. I just hope it continues til I see a successful you. I am thankful for the memories. And I’m grateful for the pains. After all, I have learned that there is no such thing as bad experiences only lessons learned. Wishing you all the best. I know at this point in time, I am writing with a happy heart.

Sincerely & truly,

The woman who cared/cares for you

Wisdom

Recently I had experienced life's unexpected turn-of-event, I think it would be great to share the lessons I earned from this situation. A person close to me once said that committing mistake is not bad, for you have gained experience and knowledge but listening to others' experiences gives you wisdom without the need to undergo pain and failure.
I've thought about it many times and come up with the following: It is NOT wrong to love someone truthfully but be sure not to make him the center of your life, please please spare for yourself. This is to prevent you from being devastated. If you have made him your world, how are you going start again if "your world" is gone. It is okay to 'give' but never forget that you also need to know when to 'take back'. Efforts and love should be reciprocated. Submitting and being over-controlled are two different things. Do's and don'ts must be logical. Know your worth and never lose it. Keep in mind that every woman deserves to be respected, be treated like a princess and be taken good care of. Learn to say no. Hold on to your values. As you love him more, remember to love yourself the most. Lastly and importantly, ask for His guidance.

Cliché

To you not-so-perfect-man,

I hope I get to meet you before my timetabled marrying age comes. I hope you will love me for who I am, what I can do and what I can give. I hope you are the one who would make me believe that I am truly beautiful, that I am worth of your admiration, worth all your efforts. I hope you will love me despite my countless imperfections, incredible mood swings...  regardless of my past. I hope you will love me not only in my best days but also in my worst. I hope you will always patiently understand me. I hope you won’t cage me-you will just let me be. I hope you won’t stop me from doing the things I love and wishing to do. I hope you won’t create barriers with my friends. I hope you will love them too. I hope you will draw me closer to God and to my family. I hope you will  bring out the best in me. I hope you will kiss my worries and fears away. I hope you're someone I can trust. I hope you will be honest with me... Always always honest with me. I hope you will still pursue me even if you already got my "yes". I hope you won’t give me the reason to get jealous. Make me feel secure. I hope you will give me the most genuine and sweetest smile. I hope I am your priority. Your only woman. Your only love. The one you cherish. The one you can be proud of.

I hope I get to meet your standards.
I hope to gain respect; please honor me,

Make me feel I am the lucky one.

P.S I hope I did not gave you a demanding impression. And I will try harder to do the same.

-Weird hopeless-romantic woman (YUCK!)

  Joyce Lauren

The Mommah and Honey I Want To Be...

First on the list is more likely predictable. Hello! I’ll be the hottest mommah, a wifey who maintains her figure (I’m crossing my fingers). Probably a working mom but doesn't forget her most important job-to take care of her family and be there constantly. Let us say a woman who commits her full time and attention even if it means waking at 4:30am to prepare breakfast, coming home early for dinner, and staying up late at night but surely fulfilled her duties as a mom and wife.

More likely, a mom/wife whom they can confide everything with. Yes, I’ll be you number  1 best friend (Whether you like it or you like it. YES! NO CHOICE! *chuckles*) I’ll be the coolest and most understanding woman in your lives but hey hon/babies, mommah won’t tolerate your inexcusable deeds. I should take responsibility in what you should become(Yes! You are included, Daddy!). We will be a God-centered family.

I will make sure that there is something you will happily look back in every special occasions. We will discover things together. We will create and share candid happy moments. I will be the best chef in town. BUT (READ CAREFULLY) eating together especially during dinner is the condition I wouldn't want to be taken for granted. It’ll be our bonding and sharing time.

I must say, I can be your dance partner, videoke buddy, movie date or simply your stage mother and your proud better half. I’ll be the source of your happiness. The person who brings glow in your heart. A woman who gives you inspiration. And someone whose bad vibes counterpart; your forever brighter side. I will love you on your best days and never less on your worsts.

Through the help of God, we will stay bonded and guided. I will love you equally and wholeheartedly.

The hardworking woman of your lives,

JOYCE LAUREN 

Nang minsang lumabas ang kacornyhan...

Sa aking future hubby,

Nais ko sanang malaman mong mahal kita at yan ay totoo, malamang sa malamang hindi kita pakakasalan kung hindi -I’ll choose love over practicality, oo mahal/babe/honey/MOO/YO/daddy, hopeless romantic ang iyong maybahay. Pipilitin kong ang bawat araw na kasama mo ko ay siya ring mga pinakamasasayang araw ng buhay mo. Pagsisilbihan kita, ipagluluto at patuloy na aalagaan. Palagay ko kikiligin ako araw-araw. Wag ka sanang matakot sakin kung mahuli mo akong nakangiti habang nakatitig sayo, palagay ko hindi lang talaga ko makapaniwala na ang tulad mo ang katuwang ko, alam kong pambihira ang iyong mga katangian.

Haharapin natin ang lahat ng magkasama at asahan mong sa bawat bagay na gusto mong gawin ako ay iyong kasama. Magjogging, magpagupit, manood ng basketball o kahit na action movies pa yan. Huwag sana natin gawing dahilan ang pagiging mag-asawa upang paghigpitan ang bawat isa sa mga bagay na gusto natin gawin. Nung naging mag-asawa tayo hindi dun tinanggal ang karapatan na gawin natin ang mga bagay na magpapasaya at magpapaunlad sa ating sarili, ayaw ko rin namang isipin mong hawak ko na ang buhay mo. Pero syempre alam kong hindi mawawala  ang maraming tampuhan at di pagkakaunawaan, sana lagi mong isipin na hindi solusyon ang hiwalayan. Maaayos din ang lahat, pag-uusapan natin yan. Pero may dapat kang tandaaan, tahimik lang ako pag may sama ng loob o medyo nagtatampo, hayaan mo lang ako, wag mo kong piliting magsalita. Tabihan mo lang ako at maya maya ayos na ko, masasabi ko rin ang dahilan ng pagkakaganito ko. Marami rin tayong madidiskubre na maaari nating ikagulat. Isa na dyan ang oily kong mukha tuwing umaga. Ang pagkahilig ko kay Tinkerbell at sa mga fairytales. Alam ko sa pagkakataong ito hindi na lingid sayo ang matagal kong pagtingin sa salamin. Hindi ko alam kung kaya kong umutot sa harap mo, dumighay siguro pwede pa? Hindi ko naman alam kung naghihilik ba ko, pero sigurado akong hindi ako malikot matulog-yakapin mo na lang ako para mas sigurado.;) Ilan yan sa mga kelangan nating tanggapin ng maluwat.

Hindi ko alam kung kaya kong panatiliing laging nakapustura pero sana sa panahong BMW(Bilbil Mo Walo) na ko, [hindi naman siguro ko mag-aamoy lupa] at marami ng hindi kaiga-igayang linya sa mukha, nawa’y maalala mong minsan akong naging pinakamaganda sa paningin mo. Sana wag mo ipagpilitang ipabelo ako, sayang ang pera. HAHA Ayos lang sakin na humanga ka sa iba basta sa puso mo dapat ako lang ay nag-iisa.

Sana’y wag mong kakalimutan na iba ang samahan pag napapanatili ang pagiging magkaibigan gayon din ang pagiging bukas sa lahat ng bagay. Sabay nating gagawin ang mga gawaing bahay, mas masaya kasi kung ganun. Sana kahit anong mangyari kaming pamilya mo ang uunahin mo. Alam ko namang magiging mabuti tayong magulang at gagawin natin ang lahat maging maganda lang ang kinabukasan ng ating magiging anak. 

           Hiling ko lang, ayain mo pa rin sana kong lumabas paminsan-minsan, masarap rin kasi sa pakiramdam yung para pa rin tayong nagliligawan sa kabila ng pagkakaroon natin ng dalawa o tatlong anak. Hayaan mong masuka sa sweetness natin ang iba. Wag mo rin kakalimutan na kahit kelan hindi mawawalan ng epekto sa babae ang pampakilig na sulat, rosas at tsokolate. Pero minsan lang naman yang mga yan, ayoko namang magdemand sayo dahil makasama lang kita at maging masaya tayo, kontento na ko.

          Syempre ang pinakamahalaga, magsisimba tayo palagi. Palalakihin natin ang mga anak natin na may takot sa Diyos. Sa bawat desisyon at mga alituntunin sa bahay kelangan nakaayon sa kagustuhan ng Maykapal. Wag nating kakalimutan na habang mas napapalapit tayo sa Kanya, gayon din ang nangyayari sa atin.

          Ngayon pa lang sinasabi ko na, inintindihin kita, susuportahan, mamahalin at aalagaan ng paulit-ulit. Magkasama tayong lalago sa ating buhay ispirituwal, buhay mag-asawa pati na rin indibidwal. Bubuo tayo ng isang masayang pamilya. Hindi mo pagsisihang ako ang pinili mo. J

                                                                        

Kinikilig na wifey mo,
JOYCE LAUREN

Sa ika-apat na taon

Sa mahigit apat na taon nating buhay pag-ibig,
Alam kong walang sino man ang dadaig.
Ating ginawang sentro and pagmamahalan,
At walang ibang boss kundi ang Diyos lamang.

Anuman ang hinarap na ‘di pagkakaintindihan,
Kailan ma’y di naging opsyon ang hiwalayan.
Sa mga napagtagumpayang nakakalokang away,
Kaakibat ay kasiyahang walang kapantay.

Nais ko sanang ang relasyong ito’y patuloy na lumago,
Nang ating matalo ang mga istorya sa Disney o ang sabi nga nila’y sa lola at lolo.
E ano naman kung tayo’y maging kulubot, walang ngipin at amoy lupa?
Mahalaga’y may matamis na ngiti sa mukha hanggang sa pagtanda. 

Some sort of poetry

It's originally posted here (my FB acct)

You’ve been there for me since day one.
You have loved me more than anything, more than anyone.
You have made me feel special,
And let me know that I am indeed fragile.
You’ve treated me like a princess,
And loved me limitless.
So who am I to ask for more?
You alone is I’m thankful for.

Thank you for showing who you are and for sharing what you have. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you. I'm here to support you. You know that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVING BOYFRIEND AND HAPPY 50th TO US! xx

If you truly love someone, you will give her  more than what she deserves. -Joyce

11-15-2012

11-15-2012: Today is our 44th month as a couple. I can’t believe we’ve made it to our 3yrs and 8mos in this relationship. At first, I, honestly have this belief that we won’t make it to our 4th month but look how far we’ve gone. That’s why I’m really proud of this relationship. It isn’t perfect. Yes, we do fight, argue, and all the things that put our relationship to a test. Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or not,  to have long-term relationship isn’t given. It's something you have to work hard for. It’s a long process that requires two people to COMMIT  their support, respect, effort, long patience, understanding, love and to EMBRACE each flaws, shortcomings, beliefs, and thoughts.
As long as you decide to be stronger and tighter than the struggles you’re meeting along your way-everyday, then you are. As simple as that.

So we’re here now. STRONGER, MORE MATURE AND MORE IN LOVE THAN EVER.
PAOLO ANTOLIN, you’re my one true love. ;’>      

                                                                                                                              --Joyce

FIFTEEN: Three Years and Five Months

Happy 41st! Thanks for the loving smiles that warms my heart and lightens my spirit. Hopefully, the next 41st that we're going to celebrate is our 41st wedding anniversary(and beyond). God bless us and our relationship! I love you, my now and forever. :">

OPEN LETTER CHALLENGE- A letter to my significant other

1ST CHALLENGE, R-E-P-O-S-T-E-D! originally, it was posted HERE  (10-15-2011)

Dear significant other (you know who you are;”> ),

Thank you for creating this 2 yrs and 7 mos story with me:’) Hope you know that I always want to make you happy and proud though I’m such a failure when it comes to it. I know that I hurt you, consciously and not. It was never my intention and I never wanna see you hurt.
I know we’ve gone through a lot of conflicts and arguments but I want you to know that I’m still hoping and praying that God will make a way for this relationship to work and work and work, so lets keep our faith and do everything according to His will:)
Pls be patient with me… No more fights but more heart smiles! :))
I-love-you-never-ending-much! ♥♥♥
Again, Happy 31st Fifteen!


Sincerely yours,
Other half